Sunday, March 6, 2011

Rainy Days

Well, it is a rainy Sunday afternoon and I am in the presence of a sleeping household. (Yes, even the dogs are asleep.) It is quiet and peaceful...and I am actually enjoying being one of the only ones awake. Wait. Why am I not napping???

As you know from my previous "Cry Me a River" post, I have been somewhat gloomy as of late. I don't know if it's the weather (going from nice and breezy 70 degrees to yucky 45), or the usual tighter than tight budget, or the stress of my "part-time" job, or my child getting a runny nose...AGAIN...or other issues. Needless to say, it could be a combination of the usual, but nothing that should really make me extremely gloomy. There are others I know going through actual hard times....loss of family members, or health issues. Not me. So, why I am I so blue again?

What fascinates me even more about this is that the Lord is constantly trying to cheer me up! What is He blessing me for right now?? I am not being grateful, nor am I being extremely worshipful in my gloomy state. So, why are friends encouraging me with their amazing blog posts, or sending me incredible e-mails full of truths and songs that make my eyes well up with tears? Why does He love me so much?!?! It is just crazy for me to think that even though I doubt the Lord at times, and even though I have not had a quiet time in a long time (gasp!) - He still wants to bless me. The love He has for me is overwhelmingly wonderful, and does in NO WAY depend on ME or my puny little actions.

So, as I am hoping this is a short season in Gloom-ville for me, I just want to encourage you as so many others have encouraged me. If you are in a desert or a cave right now, I hope the Lord will show you just how much He loves you today. He is pretty awesome like that.

Here are two songs a sweet friend sent me in an e-mail (and by the way...she didn't even know I had been gloomy...she just had a rough day herself and wanted to encourage others). The first song included an awesome story with it. So, here is both....

Nothing seemed to be going right on the day this song was written. I was newly pregnant with my third child, and not feeling very lively. I looked around my tiny home. Not one thing was in its proper place. It was a disaster area, and my two children matched the mess. Grubby from head to foot, they seemed to make more mess with every passing second.

Feelings of self-pity welled within me. Surely I deserved better than this! I deserved a bigger house. I deserved to be able to afford to hire someone to come and clean up for me. I was certain of that. Where was the new baby going to fit? I had no clue. As I dwelt on my situation, I started to feel so sorry for myself that I actually started crying for poor me. That is, until my little ten-month-old boy, crawled over to me, gave me the biggest hug with his grubby arms, and smiled dotingly up at me.

At that moment, it occurred to me that I was the most blessed woman in the world. I had two beautiful children, a loving husband, and now God had rewarded me with another life growing within me. Thinking about all the blessings in my life, filled me with great joy. The words to this song flowed out.

I’ll add that I’m now expecting my fourth child and we are still living in that same small house. God has taught me to be grateful for it. The three children have managed to fit in perfectly and I know I’ll be able to find a corner somewhere for the next one.

Pearl Barrett


Little arms reaching for me,

Grubby fingers touch my face

And love is what I feel.

Little eyes looking at me,

Chubby cheeks burst with smiles

And joy is what I know,

Peeking in while they sleep at night,

I thank God for the gift of life,

I thank God for more than I deserve.


My heart is full, my heart is full,

Why would I want for more

When my cup overflows?

My heart is full, my heart is full,

This much I know.

Strong arms reaching for me

Circle my waist for the millionth time

And love is what I feel.

Strong voice talking to me,

Whispering dreams and sharing hopes

And joy is what I know.

Sometimes I watch him sleep at night,

I thank God that I am his wife,

I thank God for more than I deserve.


Sometimes when discontent creeps into my soul

A still small voice reminds me of the ones my

arms can hold.



I don’t want to fear any more,

I don’t have to fear any more,

I don’t need to fear any more,

For I am in the grip of your hand

forever more.

I’m so overwhelmed,

Desperation clinging to my bones

And You’re the only one

Who sees the pain I uncover when I’m alone.

I don’t need to let these shadows lurk,

Open my eyes, let your light flood in,

All the anguish of my soul is worth

Nothing when I remember you are King.


I don’t want to fear any more,

I don’t have to fear any more,

I don’t need to fear any more,

For I am in the grip of your hand

forever more.

You were with them in a pillar of fire

And a cloud by night,

And you are with me, the Holy Ghost,

A still, small voice at night

Saying. . .

I’ll stay with you forever,

I’ll be there when you laugh or grieve,

I’ll trace your steps across the earth,

When you fall you can lean on Me.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Cry me a River

So, I am having one of those down-in-the-dumps-eat-a-lot-of-trail-mix-kind of days. I know, I am feeling sorry for myself and it's pathetic. How old am I again? Don't answer that.

But seriously, have begun on a bad note. The minute school started today I was annoyed. Don't get me wrong, I love my students but there are days when I would rather be in Hawaii, sipping my blue drink with an umbrella in it rather than trying to cram grammar rules down their throats. I won't go into all the details of why today has been annoying, so let's just say it has not been my day by any means.

When I picked up Alina up from school today, my day did brighten up. Of course, getting her at noon puts a smile on my face anyway...but then as I put her in the car, who shows up? Joshua. He decided to come home for lunch, and swing by first to see if we were still at her school and we were. It was a much needed, happy surprise. Then he came home to eat lunch with us, and watch some Madagascar 2 for the zillionth time.

Compared to many, I have no right to even breathe the words "bad day." So, whenever I am down in the dumps, and feel the urge to eat all the Oreos in the cupboard, I have to remind myself that God is SO good to me. He brings me blessings when I don't ask for them, and loves me even when I am a grouch. Why is this so hard to remember sometimes?